Hi everyone thanks for all the kind comments and support. Sorry I have been off here for awhile but the last few months have been pretty tough. My first operation had gone really well and I recovered brilliantly so I thought I was ok and went back to work relatively quickly, which was a big mistake. Work have been really supportive but it is just so hard to concentrate and stay motivated when you know you have another set of brain surgery to get through and eventually it all caught up on me with a lot of tears! I was therefore signed off work for about 5 weeks before the operation.
I have to admit that I did struggle massively during this period, it was just the only thing I could think of and everything else seemed pretty trivial in comparison. Anyway I am pleased to say that with some unbelievable support from my family and friends I got through it and the operation was on 13th June. It all went according to plan, recovery was pretty awful as I woke up being unable to feel my legs which was pretty scary and I was quite hysterical. It turned out that the clamps on my legs were too tight and as this was a longer operation it cut off the blood supply to my legs for a bit. I was out of hospital within a short period of time. I am still struggling with concentration and memory and I am very clumsy at the moment but apparently that is to do with the side of the brain I have had operated on and I have great support from the psychology team at Salford to help me deal with this.
I can’t say that I feel 100% yet, it has been a year since I found out about the aneurysms and I don’t think you can just wake up after the operation and be back to “normal”. In a way I don’t want to go back to the person I was before all of this. Dealing with something like this makes you look at life differently and gives you a huge amount of perspective. When I think about the things that worried me a year ago compared to what I have dealt with over the last 12 months it is laughable! I want to make sure I prioritise the things that are important to me and not get swept up with things that don’t actually matter. I’m trying to make positive changes to my life so that I have a better balance and to make sure that all of this has been worth it and that I stay well. It’s a lot to cope with and I don’t think I will ever look in the mirror and think “the girl looking back at me has had double brain surgery”, it still doesn’t seem real. But I am massively relieved it is over, I can’t believe I have got through it. I have been so incredibly lucky with my family and friends, they have been with me every step of the way, never losing patience, always listening to me go over the same concerns and worries, making me smile and cheering me up. I cannot thank them enough.
Thanks for all the lovely comments on here, once I’m back to full fitness I’d like to do some mentoring as if my experience can in any way help anyone else I’d like to share it. Next year I’d also maybe like to set myself a goal such as walking the Great Wall of china to raise money for charity, some way I can give something back and keep me focused on the more important things in life – any suggestions appreciated!
Thanks for the support and by for now.